"Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
I left last night for house church expecting there to not be a teaching since it was the last time we met before the new year. Pulling up to the church, I envisioned everyone inside sharing in conversation, eating good food and talking about how to focus on Jesus this holiday season. Well it was just that until Derek asked us all to sit down so Tony could teach us on 1 Timothy 4:10-16.. What I didn't expect was how close Tony's teaching would hit my heart.
It always seems this time of year that Satan tries to do as much as possible to make us forget what we toil and strive for. What we LIVE for. Now I know this can happen year-round but for me around Christmas is when I feel a need to be fighting for my faith the most. At the Bozich house we have been caught up in lots of decision making. Between figuring out job situations, working overtime, my awesome immune system/back pain, having an "almost" break in and now packing up to move next month, its been busy. Well kind of. Busy in the aspect of everyday things, but have we been busy in our faith? The answer for me is, no. Im not sure about you, whoever you are that is reading this, but for me when things go wild I tend to just shut down. I pray for God's provision but I don't seek it. Never fully letting all my barriers down in my heart and just giving it all up to him.
Now i'll try to make sense of this post, I swear I have a point. The verse that i put up there I have read before. Tons of times. But just as Tony said last night, when we read verses over again in different periods of our faith they can hit us in a totally new way. Because God is awesome and faithful like that. Always keeping his word alive to us thousands of years later. What it used to mean to me was that age should not matter. Thats what I would focus on. Now this time its the second part of the verse that hit me like a truck. "...but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." How does my life look to the people who are actually looking at it? I'm sure its not a mirror of what these words truly mean.
I have been convicted. I'm guilty. I am a time hoarder. A selfish girl who wants everything to be written right where she wants it in her schedule. And I am so sorry. Im sorry for not pursuing my God the way that I need to and not showing him in my life as i should. Im sorry for not pursuing your friendship.
I know now that I need to get my focus back on how I am spending my time for me to work on this part of the verse. Is it for myself always, or for the Lord? I encourage you to look at your time and how your spending it. Are you working on the things listed in that verse or are you hoarding your time for you and you alone. Only allowing a few moments in each day for something other than yourself. Did you know there is 160 hours in a week! How amazing would our faith be if we gave just 10% of our time everyday to God. To serving each other! Oh, Im going to find out.
